All about Kobe "Kobrone" Bryant: the Master of Arrogance, the King of the Ballhoggers, the Lord of the Liars.

A forum for those who hate pompous, self-absorbed, false athletes.

Saturday, July 08, 2006

Kobe Writes an Advice Column

There have been rumors, apparently, that Kobe Bryant was going to write an advice column for the LA Times. Not suprisingly, these rumors were confirmed to be false. Notwithstanding, ESPN's Patrick Hruby has put together a "sneak preview" of what could have been.

I've taken the liberty of adding my own:


Dear Kobe,

I work at ABC Inc. and I recently got a promotion from assistant manager to manager. The guy who used to be manager was pretty good, but I thought he was old and overrated, and I was really the guy for the job. I knew the director always liked me more, so I told him I was going to leave the firm and go work for XYZ Inc., a competing firm, if he didn't fire the other guy and make me manager. So he did, and here I am. But now that I've been manager for a while, our company's productivity has gone down. People seem to think that it's my management style - I like to take the lead and make all the decisions. But I really think it's my coworkers' fault, they're just not as smart as me and don't have any good ideas. Plus, the guy I got fired is doing really well with another company and people are saying that maybe he should've stayed on with ABC Inc. What should I do?


Who's the Boss


Dear Who's the Boss,

Forget the criticisms. You're the boss. That's all that matters. If people can't see that you're better and smarter than everyone else, it's their problem, not yours. Who cares if the firm's productivity is down? The important thing is that everyone knows that you're in charge. Take it from me, being the sidekick and having the spotlight of your brilliance overshadowed by some over-the-hill guy is no way to live. The only way to get respect is to be Da Man. Take it from the expert.


Wednesday, June 21, 2006

Shaq Wins 4th Ring. Kobe Wracking his Brain on the Couch?

The Miami Heat played their hearts out tonight to conquer the NBA Championship in an unexpected 6 games. Whether you like the Heat or not, you have to admit that this one was well deserved and inspiring.

The Heat have been criticized since the inception of the playoffs. People called them a paper tiger when they lost 2 games at home to the Bulls in the first round. They expected them to face adversity against Jersey. Everyone in the media declared the Pistons champions even before the Eastern Conference finals started. And, none of ESPN's "experts" really believed that the Heat could win a game in Dallas, definitely not game 6 at least.

Well, Pat Riley's team overcame all that adversity to hand him a 5th championship. I'm happy for Shaq because he delivered on his promise. I'm happy for Wade because all his hard work paid off and he has not only proven himself as of the league's best guards, but also as a leader and unifying force. I'm happy for 'Zo Mourning and Gary Payton b/c they got championship rings they truly deserved. And I'm happy for Riles b/c I thought he did an excellent coaching job.

I think the most touching thing about the win was the comradery between Shaq and Wade. I truly respect Wade for him humility, his being able to hand the spotlight to Shaq while still shining as a star on his own. And you could see the two guys being truly happy for each other, Shaq aiding Wade in a jumpstart to his career and Wade aiding Shaq to add another notch in his.

I'm not even going to bash Kobe that much in this post (however tempting it is) because it has all been said before. One thing I hope is that, while he's sitting on his couch and watching the celebration, he thinks about what he could have done differently in the past or could do differently in the future. Maybe he could call Wade and ask if he can borrow some humility.

Saturday, June 03, 2006

Shaq Makes the Difference

"Ever since Shaquille O'Neal showed up on the scene, the Heat has been a legitimate contender." Pat Riley at a post-game press conference.

Friday, June 02, 2006

Shaq - Eastern Conference Champion, goes to NBA finals; Kobe still on the couch

So . . . Shaq and the Heat beat the Pistons tonight (the same Pistons that everybody crowned NBA champions mid-season, and the same Pistons who are the kings of surviving elimination games). Shaq had 28 points, 16 rebounds and 5 blocks. He carried the Heat tonight, on top of averaging 20 and 10 for the series. And, D-Wade had the flu, and only was able to contribute 14 points (way below his 27ppg average). Still, a heroic effort by Wade, the guy's resilience and determination is amazing.

So, Shaq is going to the NBA finals. Kobe must be wearing in a spot on his couch. Unless he has broken that couch in half from anger by now.

Wednesday, May 31, 2006

Now that Kobe has more time to watch TV . . .

Raja Bell played tonight despite the torn calf and ignited his team for a 20 point victory against the Mavs.

"That kid" is getting an awful lot of press these days. I wonder if Kobe is watching.

Sunday, May 28, 2006

Raja v Kobe

Apparently, Raja Bell has been getting death threats for clotheslining Kobe. I have to say Kobe fans are crazier than I thought. And of course, they fail to realize that Kobe is the one that provoked the whole thing by elbowing Bell throughout the series. Raja Bell has a stellar record in the NBA. Kobe, on the other hand, came close to going over the technical foul limit this season. No one has ever complained about Raja being a dirty player, while many, including other NBA players and fans have complained that Kobe plays dirty and never gets called for fouls by the refs.

I'd love to see a Raja v. Kobe wrestling match. Raja looks like he can take Kobe any day. Kobe is a spoiled cry baby and he wouldn't have the refs on his side in a wrestling match.

Saturday, May 27, 2006

Kobrone Bryant

I had to post this, just for the hell of it.

Thursday, May 25, 2006

The Art of PASSING: Something Kobe Has Never Learned

Check out this blog entry about Kobe's failure.

"We witnessed Kobe prove once again that his basketball IQ is well below what the best player in the league should be."

"Outside of exactly one single solitaire game Kobe couldn't figure out a balance between passing and shooting - and that is the difference between Kobe and the best. The best basketball players in the world understand how to dominate the game without shooting the ball 30 plus times a game, yet Kobe has no idea. He can't figure out that just because you're making a pass around the three-point line doesn't mean you've integrated yourself into the team concept. And even when failing to do this Kobe either doesn't know or is to stubborn to take over the game when his team is on the ropes."

I agree with this guy 100 percent. Everyone has been praising Kobe for being a "team player" and "passing" the ball for most of the Suns-Lakers series. But there's passing the ball (like Kobe who passes it around it around the 3 point line or passing it to some guy inside who has 3 defenders on it) and PASSING the ball (i.e. creating a stop for your teammate, passing it to a guy who's wide open).

Anyone see the Mavs-Suns game yesterday? That is calling PASSING. That was Steve Nash, at his best, a guy who has made PASSING and assists an art form, who has made a PASS exciting to watch. And, not only does he know HOW TO PASS, he knows WHEN to do it as well. When his team needed a boost, Nash drove up the line repeatedly and scored in Nowitzki's face and made 2 big shots with his team down by 7 and 2 minutes left. 25 points on 11/18 shooting + 16 assists and 5 rebounds. Not bad for a guy who's 6'1" on a good day and can't really jump.

The question is, how can Nash do all this? Sure, the guy is a talented athlete, but can we really compare his athleticism and god-given basketball talent with someone like Kobe? No. It's called Basketball IQ. Unlike real IQ though, which is mostly innate, Baskeball IQ is something that you develop in your years in the NBA. Nash has the basketball IQ of a genius. LeBron, at 21, has already developed a high IQ and we can only imagine that he'll keep working on it. Kobe, on the other hand, has missed the train. He thinks he was born with the Basketball IQ of Einstein and therefore does not need to adjust anything. The thing is that he's a bit off, his Basketball IQ is more like that of a hotheaded teenager. That's what it was when he started in the league, that's what it is now.

Don't get me wrong, no one expects Kobe to master the art of PASSING like Nash has. Kobe is a shooting guard, while Nash is a point guard, so one does expect Kobe to shoot more. And either way, Kobe has already missed that train. The sad thing is that Kobe has no idea that art even exists.

Sunday, May 14, 2006

Kid Kobe Should Learn from King James

Couldn't have put it better myself ...

Gene Wojciechowski: Lessons to be learned watching LeBron go all out

"Kobe, this is how you lead a team.

You don't defer to the Bryant-ettes. You don't hide behind "the game plan." You don't enter a witness protection program, take just three second-half shots and score zero field goals in the last 24 minutes of a playoff elimination game.

The numbers weren't his best, but some Cavs believe LeBron James played his best game Saturday.Instead, you do what LeBron James did Saturday night in Game 3 of the Eastern Conference semifinals: You let the game come to you. And when it gets within arm's reach, you grab it hard by the earlobe, pull it close, and don't let go until it whimpers for mercy.

The Detroit Pistons aren't exactly whimpering, but they are in a little bit of playoff pain. They had a 2-0 series lead and a 10-point advantage midway through the third quarter of Saturday evening's game against the Cleveland Cavaliers at The Q. But that was before the anti-Kobe stuck a cocktail toothpick in the Pistons' plans for a sweep.

"He does things that most guys can't do," said the Pistons' Chauncey Billups.

If Bryant didn't see King James cut Detroit's series lead in half, then Los Angeles Lakers coach Phil Jackson ought to DHL him the game tape as soon as possible. James wrote a baller's how-to manual against the conference's -- and maybe the league's -- best team.

When the Pistons were up by those double digits, James didn't go into a funk (like Kobe did in Game 7 against the Phoenix Suns). He didn't pout (like Kobe did). He didn't play like he was on sedatives (like Kobe did).

He led. He inspired. He willed.

"Honestly, I think this is the best game he's played," said Cavs veteran Donyell Marshall.

LBJ has scored more, thrilled more and dazzled more. But good luck finding a game where James has meant more to the Cavs. He had 21 points, which is nice, but it's still 12 points less than his playoff average and 10 points off his regular-season average. But James also had 10 rebounds and 10 assists for his 10th career triple-double. (And did we mention the four steals and one blocked shot?) He did everything but tape his teammates' ankles.

The King and his Court beat the Pistons 86-77. ABC thought so much of the game that the network skip-passed it to ESPN, from prime time to late-afternoon -- informercial time. Can you blame it? Detroit was up 2-0 and favored by the Vegas smart guys to make it 3-0.

The schedule might have said otherwise, but this was an elimination game. Lose this one and the Cavs could start logging on to Orbitz for their vacation plans. You need to chug Holy Water to come back from an 0-3 series deficit, especially against the heartless Pistons, who have a history of stepping on opponents' throats as if they're cigarette butts.

But James wouldn't let Detroit grind its sneakers into the Cavs. He had only four points at halftime, but he already had five rebounds, seven assists, a steal, and a blocked shot. He was playing the kind of defense you see on instructional videos. And nobody on the floor played every second of every minute of the half as James did.

Kobe had 23 points in the first half of Game 7 against the Suns. The Lakers trailed by 15 -- not good, but not insurmountable. But rather than take control, Bryant stuck to some sort of game plan that apparently called for him to keep force-feeding his teammates. At least, that's what Bryant said after the Suns won by 31 and overcame a 3-1 series deficit.

It was a bogus excuse, the work of a great player having an on-court hissy fit. When the Bryant-ettes couldn't deliver, Kobe did nothing to help them. In essence, he gave up.

James didn't know it, but he delivered the perfect cross-country response to Kobe and the Lakers star's lame reasoning about sticking to "the game plan." Game plans change. They evolve. Sometimes they have to be dumped.

James knows this. Kobe doesn't.

"I don't plan what I'm going to do before the game," James said. "I just react to the game. I get doubled, I get a ball up. It's been my motto all year. It's been my motto all my life.

"But I seen some creases in the fourth quarter and I was able to attack it and give ourselves an opportunity to win the ballgame." He scored 22 of Cleveland's final 33 points, and 15 in the fourth.

James involved his teammates in Game 3. When he was double teamed -- which happened a lot -- he found the open man. Anderson Varejao (think Florida's Joakim Noah) had an unexpected 16 points, thanks in part to James' feeds off screen-and-rolls. Marshall chipped in nine points, including a run-out basket made possible by a James flip pass that somehow covered three-quarters of the court and dropped perfectly into Donyell's hands.

But in the second half, even after missing his first two jumpers ... even after the Pistons were a shot or two from blowing the game wide open ... James remained patient. And when the time was right, he overwhelmed the Pistons.

A jumper. A dunk that made my teeth rattle. A Raisinets-sweet feed to Varejao that put the Cavs ahead 63-62 with 7:22 remaining in the third quarter. A he-didn't-really-do-that-did-he? underhand scoop shot from the baseline. Another feed to Varejao. Another drive past Tayshaun Prince (who just happens to be a second team All-NBA Defensive Team selection) for a lay-in. And another. A stolen pass. A 3-pointer from the wing that stretched Cleveland's lead to seven points with 1:10 left to play. A skip pass to Damon Jones for a trey.

"I had to step up, and it wasn't by scoring," James said. "I didn't have one of my big offensive nights like I can have."

But he had a big night, which is why this series will live for at least five games, maybe longer. Game 4 is Monday evening.

Kobe should watch. And learn."

Wednesday, May 10, 2006

More Dobe Busting by the Press

You know Dobe has really messed up when all the journalists that usually go through great lenghts to suck up to him take turns criticizing him.

Phil Taylor: Dominant then invisible, Bryant is a conflicted star

"Lakers fans, however, probably found Bryant's most recent eccentricity more maddening than fascinating."

"When Kobe doesn't shoot, something's up. Can you imagine Michael Jordan pulling such a disappearing act in a big game? Or even James, who has already shown a psychological steadiness at 21 that Bryant, 27, still hasn't achieved? Maybe something was said at halftime of Game 7 by Jackson or one of the other Lakers players that rubbed Bryant the wrong way, or maybe he was disgusted with his teammates' jittery play and decided to teach them a lesson by refusing to bail them out. Whatever it was, something brought Bryant's pouty, immature side to the surface again. It reminded Lakers watchers of the last time he removed himself from the offense, in a game against Sacramento a few years ago after he had come under fire for shooting too much."

"But in Game 7, the old Kobe came back -- the Kobe of extremes, the one who insists on all or nothing. This time he gave the Lakers nothing -- nothing but a headache as they try to figure out whether Bryant will ever be even-keeled enough for them to trust him completely. "

Tuesday, May 09, 2006

Say Good Bye to the Kobe = MJ comparisons

Skip Bayless: LeBron's closer to MJ than Kobe

"In Saturday night's Game 7, Kobe basically tried to outscore the Suns by himself -- and you had the halftime feeling that he would at least make it crazy close. But the rpm was too hot, especially in Phoenix. Although Kobe had looked unstoppable in scoring 23 in the first half, Phoenix was on pace to score 120 and led by 15.

So when the Suns came out even hotter in the third quarter, Kobe basically quit. For sure, he quit shooting. He scored one more point -- on a technical-foul free throw.

Jordan never would have done that.

Deep down, Kobe is still the spoiled brat.

Nash summed up Kobe Bryant by saying: "I don't know what to expect of him. Sometimes it's a little strange."

When the blowout ended, Kobe trotted straight to the locker room. Sure, the blood had been bad between these teams. But at least he could have shaken Nash's hand, or Shawn Marion's. But no. No class."

"Kobe won't even get close [to Jordan]."

Monday, May 08, 2006

Face It: Kobe Failed

We've been getting all these angry comments and insults from very frustrated people regarding the Lakers' loss in Game 7, Kobe's role in it and Kobe's career in general. So I just thought I'd clear up a few things.

These are claims that people have made and our responses to them.

Claim: We're hypocrates because we tell Kobe to stop shooting, and when he stops shooting we criticize him and call him selsish.

Response: We don't want Kobe to stop shooting. We want Kobe to shoot intelligently (i.e. not when he's double- or triple-teamed, work with his teammates to create plays, and pass the ball to his teammates when they're open. I personally didn't criticize him for taking 35 shots in Game 6 because he actually made 20 of them. That said, someone taking that many shots can break up the rhythm of the team, leaving the other players cold, which takes away the effectiveness of the team's game. But, I could live with that. The day Kobe starts shooting an average of 60% from the floor is the day I will be OK with him taking 35 shots a game.

As to what Kobe did in the second half of the game, it is the epitome of selfish. I don't know why he only took 3 shots in the second half. No one will ever know, even if Kobe were to actually give us a straight explanation. Even those who idolize him have to admit that he always says "the right thing," as opposed to the truth. So lets look at the possible explanations for that behavior:

Explanation 1: Kobe wanted to play team ball

Do you really buy that? Had he taken 8-12 shots, I could have bought that explanation. But 3 shots, especially when his team was down 15 points at the half? Come on.

Also, lets say, for argument's sake, he was trying to play team ball. Playing team ball does not just mean not taking a shot everytime the ball is in your hands. It means (especially for a guy like Kobe who claims to be the leader) that you set up picks for your teammates, that you create plays, that you pass the ball to the open guy, and that you play great defense. Did Kobe do any of that? No. He had 1 assist the whole game. I didn't see him create a single play. And, he didn't play good defense, something he had actually improved on throughout the series.

Therefore, that explanation goes out the window.

Explanation 2: Kobe was hurt

Kobe didn't look hurt, he never said he was, and neither did Phil Jackson. So, that explanation goes out the window as well.

Explanation 3: Kobe was trying to prove some sort of point

Whether Kobe was responding to that LA Times article or not, we don't know. However, his behavior is stunningly similar to what he did last time against the Kings. So, a logical conclusion is that he stopped shooting either as a response to some criticism - whether it was the LA Times article, Phil Jackson, or anyone else. That is the explanation that makes the most sense. If you don't agree, write me and tell me what makes sense to you. If this explanation is true, you can't deny that those actions were very selfish. Maybe Kobe shooting more wouldn't have saved the game, or maybe it would have. We'll never know. But his lack of any sort of effort in that second half - on shooting, assists or defense - is nothing but his feeding his own ego.

Claim: Without Kobe, the Lakers would be at the bottom of the barrel.

Response: True, the rest of the team is nothing impressive. Other than Lamar Odom, the rest of the players are, at best, average. However, whose fault is this? It was Kobe that demanded that Shaq be traded, that Phil Jackson leave (and now all of a sudden he says he is chummy with Phil, why the sudden change of heart?), that Gary Payton was too old. Kobe wanted to be THE star, THE leader, THE Laker. So now he is. And now he's complaining that his team is young and inexperienced. He made his own bed and he has to lie in it.

Claim: Shaq hasn't gotten anywhere without Kobe either. Shaq is a nobody because the Heat didn't win a championship last year.

Response: Shaq's Heat made it to the Eastern Conference finals last year and lost to Detroit in 7 games. I think that's a noteworthy accomplishment. Without Shaq, the Heat's was unimpressive in the first half of this season. And, without Shaq, the Lakers didn't make it to the playoffs last year. I think that's proof enough. Also, don't forget: Shaq is 34, Kobe is 27. Shaq is past his prime, Kobe is in his prime.

No one claims that Shaq can win championships by himself. If a star could win a championship completely by himself, teams wouldn't bother paying all these other guys millions of dollars, they would just find 1 star and get some chumps off the street to fill space. However, Shaq is someone who makes a big difference. There are lots of good guards out there - more than 20 than average 20+ a game on a decent percentage. There are very very few good centers though. And no one as dominant as Shaq. No other player in the league commands a double team all the time. And, like I said, this is Shaq at 34, not 27.

Finally, Shaq knows his place. He doesn't go around saying that he can win championships by himself. He is not delusional. He knows he needs a good guard to help him. Unlike Kobe, his arrogance doesn't cloud his judgment.

By the way, this is a blog about hating Kobe, not about loving Shaq. We're not Shaq idolizers here. Shaq has his flaws, just like everyone else. However, it's a fact that when Shaq was there, the Lakers won championships or at least made it to the conference finals. Once he left, they didn't make the playoffs. Period.

Claim: Kobe is loyal to the Lakers.

Response: How quickly we forget. In 2004, Kobe threatened to go to the Clippers unless he got more money from the Lakers and Jerry Buss got rid of Shaq and Phil. The Clippers actually believed this and traded a bunch of players to clear cap space for him. Then, once the Lakers sweetened the deal, he resigned with them, leaving the Clippers in the dust. What a loyal guy.

Claim: The Lakers would choke if they had LeBron, or anyone else other than Kobe.

Response: Maybe, maybe not. The thing is that LeBron doesn't claim that he doesn't need anyone else to win championships. He always emphasizes the need for his teammates. And, at 21, LeBron has already done amazing things for the Cavs. And, LeBron doesn't have someone like Shaq at his side.


Kobe Lovers, we know you're angry and frustrated. I would be too if I were you. Kobe blew the chance of a lifetime - to prove everyone (including us) wrong. But it's OK, there's always next year, right?

Saturday, May 06, 2006

Suns Win Series: Kobe - the Cry Baby Goes Fishing

The chest-pumping animal of Game 6 has turned into a cry baby in Game 7.

Kobe was so preoccupied with proving to everyone that the Lakers couldn't win without him, he opted to go fishing rather than advance to the second round of the playoffs.

Kobe took only 16 shots (3 in the second half), as the Lakers lost to the Suns: 90-121. Rumor has it that Kobe was offended by the LA Times article that criticized him for taking 35 shots in Game 6. So Cry Baby Kobe decided to just stop shooting in Game 7 to prove a point. Not did he only stop shooting, he also stopped helping his teammates (1 assist!) and playing defense (4 rebounds). If that's not the epitome of selfishness, I don't know what is.

Kobe claims he is the leader of his team. He likes to act like the leader in telling the other guys what to do and looking down on them as if they're a bunch of kids. But a team leader is not someone who just scores a bunch, it's someone that steps up and helps his teammates when they're down. The rest of the team played their hearts out throughout these playoffs, and when they start struggling, he washes his hands to feed his ego.

And then, he gives this interview, blaming his teammates ("everyone has to contribute"). Aren't these the same teammates Kobe has been praising throughout the playoffs and saying that he's so proud of? And, he has the tenacity to insult Raja Bell ("I don't think about him at all when I'm playing . . . not like I do when I play Bruce Bowen or Ron Artest"). The thing is, however much Kobe tries to insult him, Raja is moving on to the second round and Kobe is not.

Kobe's arrogance and selfishness has no end. He'll never admit he's wrong, things are never his fault. I hope he's content with sitting out the rest of the postseason and the fact that he'll never win another championship.

Friday, May 05, 2006

Tarzan Kobe No Where to Be Found

I didn't see Kobe pulling his jersey and fiercely pounding on his chest after Game 6. What happened Kobe?

Kobe The Maggot

One of our bloggers has suggested that comparing Kobe to a Doberman is an insult to the breed and that that Kobe is more like a maggot.

I fully agree, I really didn't mean to insult the Doberman breed and apologize to all Doberman owners who have read this blog.

To go with our reader's suggestion, I have created the below image of Kobe. Thank you for the idea!

The Return of Kobe Ball

No elimination game for the Lakers tonight. The Suns are back, and Dobe reverted to his old self and played Dobe ball again. The Dobster tried to play the game by himself once again (if he were in a band, it would be called Dobe and the Ballpassers) and lost. Apparently 50 points was not enough to beat the Suns. "We're young and inexperienced." Mark my words, that will be his excuse should Lakers lose Game 7.

Oh, and that shot that Kobe missed with 3 seconds left, he could have passed it to Smush who was wide open. Oh, but wait, I forgot, Dobe ball is back and Dobe has forgotten how to pass like passing was just a bad dream. The real Dobe has awakened from a deep sleep.

Tuesday, May 02, 2006

Suns v. Lakers: Kobe is not the MVP

Kobe is not the 2005-06 MVP. Nor is he the MVP of the postseason.

For the past 2 days, every time I turn on ESPN or TNT, I hear talk about Kobe, how he has been so amazing in the postseason and such a good teammate and so clutch in Game 4. Listening to this, you would think that Kobe is the only reason the Lakers are up 3-1 in the series at this point.

I say the media, as always, is giving Kobe unnecessary credit. Sure those 2 shots in Game 4 were clutch. I'm not going to dispute that, I'll give credit where credit is due. However, what about the rest of that game and the series overall? The numbers tell the truth.

Lets recap:

Game 1

Kobe: 7-21 shooting (33%), 22 points, 6 rebounds, 5 assists, 1 block.

Terrible shooting game, all four other starters had a better shooting percentage than Kobe and were in double digits. An OK game defensively.

Game 2

Kobe: 12-24 shooting (50%), 29 points, 10 rebounds, 5 assists, 1 steal.

Much better shooting game, but nothing out of this world. Lamar (9 for 12) was really the star of that game. Much better defense, however. Looked like Phil really did get inside his head.

Game 3

Kobe: 6-18 shooting (33%), 17 points, 5 rebounds, 7 assists, 4 steals.

Horrible shooting percentage once again. Passed the ball a litle more. Defense not as good as game 2, but was alert with 4 steals.

Game 4

Kobe: 9-14 shooting (64%), 24 points, 4 rebounds, 8 assists.

Very good shooting percentage, good on assists. Overall, a very good game, but once again, nothing out of this world. In case anyone forgot, the Lakers were playing at home. They almost lost the game at first, and if not for that 3-pointer by Smush and then Smush's steal, Kobe would have been no where close to make that tying shot. And, in overtime, it was Smush and Walton that got Nash to lose the ball. So yes, Kobe was good, but nothing for the history books, and not without the rest of the team. If anything, it was actually his defense, rather than anything else, that has been contributing to the Lakers' victories.


Kobe averaged 45% shooting in the series, 23 points, 6 rebounds and 6 assists. Honestly, nothing to write home about.

Look at the other stars of the postseason - Dirk Nowitzki, Andres Nocioni, LeBron James, Bonzi Wells, Sam Cassell, Elton Brand, Gilbert Arenas, etc. etc. etc. Are you telling me these guys are having a worse post season than Kobe? Dirk averaged 31 points on 50% shooting and has made many a clutch shot in the series against the Grizzlies, which the Mavs swept. Bonzi Wells was 9-11 last night for 25 points + 17 rebounds. LeBron James broke all the records in his playoffs debut. Sam Cassell and Elton Brand stopped the Clippers' 30 years playoff drought. Why isn't the media buzzing as much about that?

Lets stop the hype and look at the numbers.

Sunday, April 30, 2006

Kobe Bryant. The Omarosa of Basketball

After Kobe retires, he should consider a career in politics. He should run for office because he's so great at lieing with a smile and an innocent look on his face. I was just watching an interview ABC did with him and he said it was so beautiful to play unselfishly and to hear the fans at Staple Center shouting Kwame Brown's name, something that wouldn't have been possible at the beginning of the year.


Is this not the same Kobe that was claiming he HAD TO take 30+ shots per game because of the rest of his team was horrible?

Is this not the same Kobe that used to yell at Lamar Odom because Lamar didn't pass him the ball 100% of the time?

Is this not the same Kobe that would NEVER pass the ball to Kwame because he didn't think Kwame was capable of doing anything?

What happened in the last weeks of the regular season and during the playoffs? Did his teammates (all of them) all of a sudden learn how to play basketball? Or were they capable all along, but played horribly because they never had the ball in their hands?

Hmmm, that's a hard one...

I almost get a feeling that Kobe has a PR person or script writer that feeds him lines before every interview. He's like the Omarosa of basketball, except that Omarosa plays a villain on reality TV, while Kobe is one.

Saturday, April 29, 2006

Lakers win again, is Kobe Ball OVER? Has Kobe learned what Team Basketball Means?

Oh yes, the Lakers beat the Suns 99-92. Why are they winning? Oh wait, is it because Kobe is scoring 81 points? NO. Is it because he's shooting his usual 9 out 33? NO. Is it because Shaq decided to come back to the Lakers to carry Kobe on his back again? NO.

3 words fo you: "NO KOBE BALL" (i.e. no 30 footers, no 1 on 5, no jacking-up 33 shots, and only making 9).

Kobe, I mean Dobe, shot his usual 33%, yes you Kobe-Kissasses, Kobe shot his usual 33% (i.e. 6 out of 18). Nothing new there, Kobe was just being Kobe. So why are the Lakers winning? because all 5 starters were in double-figures, which means that the team is playing "Team Ball." What? Kobe & Teamball? Has hell frozen over? EVERYTIME the Lakers win in the playoffs, by playing teamball, is proof that Kobe is overrated, and that "Kobe Ball" does NOT work.

The question is, if Kobe is so smart/good, why has it taken him 10 years of his NBA life to share the rock? Hmm, or better yet, how long can he keep this up?

Friday, April 28, 2006

One Game Don't Change a Thing

The Lakers played superb basketball on Wednesday night. No question. We saw something we really hadn't seen all season - a real team working together to take every ounce of the game out of the Suns. The Lakers played great D, were consistent on the offensive end, and stuck to Phil Jackson's game plan for most of the game.

Can this keep this up for Games 3 and 4? We'll see. I'd love to see Lamar continue to step up (the man has been shooting 60% for the last 2 games!), Kwame to play like the big man that he is, and Sasha Vujacic to continue hitting the 3s like he's unconscious.

At the same time, the Suns must be furious with their performance, and are very likely to come back with a vengeance.

The one person Nash and the gang don't need to fear? Kobe. As always, everyone acts like Kobe did such an amazing thing by playing more or less unselfishly for one game. It's like a C student getting one A every couple of months. Doesn't make him an A student, just a C+ student on average. Chances are, Kobe will go back to his old self eventually. However, even if Kobe plays in Game 3 the way he played in Game 2, that will not be a deciding factor. The reason the Lakers won Game 2 is their amazing defense and Lamar's dominance. That's what the Suns will fear most.

Wednesday, April 26, 2006

24 Dobe

According to various sources Dobe has decided to switch his jersey number from #8 to #24. Thanks to anonymous for the tip last night.

What is this but a publicity stunt to get more attention? Perhaps Kobe is upset that Dwayne Wade's, A.I.'s and LeBron's jerseys sell better than his. Rather than changing your jersey #, how about changing your game? That might get you more popularity.

Sunday, April 23, 2006

One Down. Three to go.

Kobe was 7 of 21 last night. Enough said.

Overall, despite the loss, a quite decent game for the Lakers. Phil Jackson's plan to make the Suns play inside did work to the Lakers' advantage - the Suns had to slow down their game and shot worse than usual. For the first time this season, I saw the Lakers play more like a team, a disciplined team with strategy at that. Lamar proved that he can execute under pressure - with 21 points (on 8 of 15 shooting) and 14 rebounds, he was a major reason the Lakers played a close game. Even Luke Walton, as lacking in talent or skills as I believe he is, shined last night with 9 of 16 shooting and a career high 19 points.

So what happened to Kobe? During a half-time interview, he said he was happy to see his teammates, like Smush and Kwame, develop and grow. In reality, we all know he's not happy with 22 points (and not quality points on 33% shooting at that). What happened to Kobe is that he can't do well unless he is constantly shooting the ball. Defensive minded plays don't work for him, even if they may work for the team as a whole.

Preview of Game 2. Kobe makes 30+ shots. Lakers lose again.

Crazy Predictions: Suns v Lakers

Apparently 5 of 16 ESPN experts, including Bill Simmons and Scoop Jackson, have picked the Lakers to beat the Suns in the most likely 1st round upset of this year's playoffs. I like Bill Simmons' column and interviews, but he, along with other EPSN "insiders" must have been smoking too much of something while listening to Pearl Jam .

The Lakers lost 3 of 4 against the Suns this year, and all 4 games last year, each loss over 10 points. The one game they did win, Steve Nash didn't play and neither did Raja Bell, who has averaged almost 15 points a game for the Suns this year and is one of the team's lead defenders. Sure, Kobe will probably be able to score 40 or even 50 points in a game or two, but that's very unlikely to beat the Suns who average 108.4 points per game this season. Will Kobe shock the Suns by engaging the rest of his team and thus thwarting the Suns' strategy of putting 5 defenders on him to shut the team down? Not in a million years. That scenario is just as likely as Steve Nash deciding to play center.

For my prediction sources, I'd rather trust ESPN's more impartial and rational Scouting Inc. report which picks Phoenix Suns in five games.

My one diagreement with that report: it matches each of the Suns' starters against each of the Lakers'. Really, it should just match up each Suns starter against Kobe, because that's what the game will really be like: Kobe v 5 Defenders. And that's how Kobe likes it. Lets see how fast he'll choke. Suns in 5 games? I foresee Suns in 4.

Thursday, March 23, 2006

Has Kobe been reading this blog?

Kobe Bryant must have been reading this blog, because it seems like last night, he actually listened to what we've been telling him. Either that, or Phil Jackson implanted a shocking device on his body and zapped him every time he tried to take a shot with 3 guys on him.

Kobe only took 20 shots yesterday! This is a guy who has averaged 30 field goal attemps in the past 10 games (don't believe me, check the numbers yourselves). And look at that, with better shot selection, his shooting percentage went up as well - 11-for-20 = 55%!

Beyond that, the Lakers had 4 guys in double figures. Kwame Brown scored 21 points on 8-for-12 shooting + 12 reboungs, a season high! Amazing what happens when your teammates pass you the ball!

Of course, it was the defense that really won the game. Apparently Phil Jackson, rather than letting his team go home and rest after a flight from the East Coast last night, called them into the arena and had them watch videos of the Kings for 5 hours. It obviously worked. The Lakers kept all the Kings' leading scorers to fewer and more difficult shots, rebounded well, and outdid the Kings in steals - 13 to 4.

Kobe reverted to his old self towards the end of the fourth quarter, taking some improbable shots while surrounded by defenders, but the Lakers had a cushy enough lead that it didn't make a big difference.

Will this improved Kobe endure? Unlikely, I think. Kobe has a game like this once in a blue moon and then inevitably reverts to his old self. He's been doing this for 9 years, so unless he gets struck by lightning (or Phil Jackson starts using that shocking device or maybe some sort of Buddhist hypnosis), he's unlikely to change. Plus, we couldn't have the spotlight on Kwame (or anyone else) for too long, could we?

P.S.: To Kobe bandwaggon riders who rejoice when they don't see a posting immediately after a game that finishes at 1 AM on the East Coast, don't celebrate too fast. We, unlike some of you, have real lives and real jobs. This is somewhat of a minor hobby and we post when we have time. And don't worry, Kobe always gives us enough material to write about.

Wednesday, March 22, 2006

Kobe: "I'll take 60 shots if I have to."

"When the game is on the line, they put the ball in my hands," Bryant said. "I've gotta do what I've gotta do, I don't care if it's 50 shots, 60 shots, five shots."

- Kobe Bryant, after the Lakers defeated a weak Boston team on Sunday.

They put the ball in your hands, Kobe, because you would throw a temper tantrum if they didn't. And, only Kobe would think that one needs 50 or 60 shots to win a game. Five shots? I don't think so. The only time Kobe came close to taking five shots is during a different type of temper tantrum - when he took only 2 shots in an entire half after hearing criticism that he was a ball hog.

Kobe played a decent against the Celtics, 18-for-39 (46%) from the field. But 39 shots? Is that really necessary? The only time you should take that many shots, two conditions have to be true: 1) You're shooting around 70%, and 2) The rest of your team is struggling. Neither was true in this game. Kobe shot well, but not amazingly. In fact, he missed all his 5 three point attempts. And the rest of the team shot well. Lamar was 6-f0r-10. Kwame was 5-for-7. Smush was 6-for-11. But, the rest of the team only took 51 shots, while Kobe took 39. Anyone see something wrong with that picture?

Sure the Lakers beat the Celtics, a team that has lost 4 of their last 5. But the more Kobe takes shots (and confidence) away from his teammates, the less chances the Lakers have of ever getting past the 1st round of the playoffs (if they're lucky enough to make it in).

And don't forget, this game wouldn't have been won without the Lakers' strong defense. The Lakers had 45 rebounds and kept Paul Pierce to 2 points in the 4th quarter.

Tuesday, March 21, 2006

Kobe Groupies Coming out of the Woodworks

Wow, we're starting to get comments from all these Kobe groupies, who seem to hate that the truth is being told about their "superstar." We are very happy to encourage discussion about Kobe, the Lakers, the NBA and sports in general. In fact, this is one of the reasons we started this blog. However, if you have nothing intelligent to say, or can't write sentences without using curse words or crude comments, don't post here.

Also, we seem to be attracting attention from other blogs. One, in fact, claims that we only post when Kobe has a bad game. If this person actually looked at the dates of our postings, he would notice that we've posted almost every single day since March 7, and this blog was only born in late February. It's also obvious that the Lakers don't play every single day. I could fill in the non-game days by posting "Kobe Sucks," but this is not a blog for 1st graders, despite what some of our juvenile Kobe fans might think.

A great article about Kobe

The author of this article, Wilfred Wan, is right on the money about Kobe and his career in the NBA. Very well written and organized. Well worth the read.

Sunday, March 19, 2006

Kobe misses needless 3-pointer at the buzzer, Cavs beat Lakers 96-95

Kobe never misses a chance to try to shine, even if it may cost his team the game. Why did he need to take a 3-pointer with 2 defenders on him when the Lakers were only down by 1 point with 3.4 seconds left? Wouldn't it had made more sense to drive and get fouled, or to take a higher percentage shot? Or perhaps to swallow your pride and pass the ball to someone else, since everyone in the Cavs arena was expecting Kobe to take the last shot? Just look at what the Cavs did when they were tied 95-95: Flip Murray drove to the basket and got fouled (by Kobe, by the way), got one of his free throws and secured the victory for the Cavs.

Kobe, as well Smush Parker and Lamar Odom, had a great first half. The team as whole shot amazingly well (70+%), Kobe was 10-for-15, and it seemed like the Cavs had already lost the game. But, Kobe reverted to his old self in the second half, taking a number of crazy shots. He was 4-for-15 during the second half before making his first 3-pointer of the game with 1:33 left. Then, with the teams tied and 8.6 seconds remaining, Kobe attempted another unnecessary 3-pointer that didn't even come close to going in.

Oh, and Kobe finally gets a technical foul for throwing a hissy fit while double teamed by Eric Snow and Flip Murray, trying to grab a rebound off LeBron's missed lay up. He, like other star players, get preferential treatment from the refs (like when Kobe hurled the ball at two Kings after missing a free throw in the game against Sacramento last week), but this one didn't slide past them.

Who can Kobe blame for this loss? No one but himself.

Saturday, March 18, 2006

Kobe = Dobe?

On a less serious note, I was having some graphics fun this afternoon, and have noted that "Dobe" is actually a perfect nickname for Kobe, since he kind of looks like a Doberman (which are called "Dobes" by some people).

Check this out:

I've also been told that Kobe looks like a rat (note the resemblance below), but "Ratty" or "Robe" just doesn't have the same ring to it.

I think I'll stick to "Dobe" for now.

Friday, March 17, 2006

No Kidding!! Kobe Is Discarded by Vince Carter and Jason Kidd.

Seems like Kobe has been getting shut down game after game, first by Manu Gnobli, then by Ray Allen, Ron Artest and Bonzi Wells, Ricky Davis and now by Vince Carter and Jason Kidd! Kobe was 9-for-24 last night and the Lakers lost to the Nets 89 to 92. Nenad Krstic, on the other hand, had only 2 more points than Bryant (26) on 11-for-16 shooting. Kobe was hoping to tie the game with his usual 3 pointer at the buzzer, but failed miserably. Oh no, Kobe's shooting average is going down. He must be happy AI is hurt, or he just might just lose his #1 position in the league. Kobe must be really fuming by now, let's see if that anger does anything for him against King James tomorrow.

Thursday, March 16, 2006

Kobe v Lamar. The 1-2 punch? Not if Kobe can help it.

"It's great to have a 1-2 punch . . . when Lamar's clicking like that, it makes my life a lot easier on nights like tonight. I needed guys to pick me up, and Lamar stepped up and did that and carried the load. Then at the end of the game I was able to come through."

- Kobe Bryant, after the Lakers beat the Timberwolves 92 to 89.

Doesn't Kobe always say the right thing? He should run for office in California like the rest of the celebrities. He'd make a great liar, I mean, politican.

No Kobe, you'd rather YOU had all the points and all the glory. 1-2 punch, ha? Didn't you have that with Shaq? Or was the problem that Shaq was the 1 and Kobe was the 2?

Lamar has really stepped up his offensive game lately. He has averaged 22 points on 67% shooting in the last 3 match ups. You know why? Because he seems to have finally developed a bit of confidence and has taken control of the ball on some possessions, rather than passing it to Kobe around the clock. Of course, it would look really bad for Kobe to be angry at the fact that Lamar has been stealing some of his spotlight, because Lamar has actually been delivering on those baskets and Kobe has been struggling from the floor (he has averaged 38% in the last 5 games, 48% against Minnesota his best). But wait until Lamar has a bad shooting night, Kobe will eat him alive and proclaim that, once again, sadly, he has to start taking more shots because his teammates are inadequate.

Wednesday, March 15, 2006

Ron Artest Shuts Down Kobe. Kings beat the Lakers 114-98.

Kobe had one of his best shooting nights in the last 4 games. 12 of 28, that's a wopping 42%. That's much better than the 27% he put up against the Sonics, 38% against the Spurs and 36% against the Hornets. What happened Kobe? Has your offense been shot down? Kobe looked a bit scared with Ron Artest in his face. That's right, Kobe can only score 81 on defenseless teams like the Raptors. On the other hand, Ron Artest had only 2 points less on 8 of 15 shooting.

Finally, like I was saying in my last post, Kobe seems to only make his teammaters better when he's doing badly. Check out Lamar's numbers - 9 of 12 for 24 points last night!

Sunday, March 12, 2006

Lakers Lose to Sonics, Kobe shoots 8 of 29

"He feels like he needs to show this league and the people in this country that he is better without Shaq. He can win championships without Shaq. So offensively, he's going to jump out and say, 'I can average 30 points. I can still carry the load on this team.'

"I think the point production is not going to be so much what people are going to look at because (Tracy) McGrady did it in Orlando, Allen (Iverson) did it in Philly. Can you win a championship? I think that's the question. Carrying guys on your back and making everybody better."

- Ray Allen, Oct. 2004

Ray Allen backed up that quote today as the Sonics beat the Lakers 120 to 113, shaking up the Lakers' playoff contention, as the Kings and the Jazz are inching in. Allen held Kobe down to 22 points on 8 of 29 shooting (27%)!!! Kobe didn't score in the first quarter and went scoreless for more than 8 minutes in the 3rd quarter.

Allen was wrong about one thing: Kobe can make his teammates better. He has made them better in the last 3 games by shooting horribly, to the point that the rest of the team actually stepped up and took control of the ball. Even Luke Walton (Luke Walton, really? Daddy Bill was proud today!) can score when he is actually given the ball when he's open. Shooting when you're open? What's that, says Kobe. Good ol' Luke was 7 of 7 from the field, contributing 17 points! Lamar Odom had a great game, contributing 21 points - only 1 point less than Kobe, but on 6 of 9 shooting. So Kobe took 20 more shots than Lamar and scored only 1 more point. He attempted 13 three-pointers and made 2 of them. Am I the only one that sees something wrong with that? The Lakers lost by 7 points. What would have happened if Kobe gave up half of the shots he took to someone else?

I hope Kobe continues to shoot horribly, I'd like to see the rest of the team show what they can do.

Saturday, March 11, 2006

Thank Lakers defense, not Kobe

"I didn't shoot well for three-fourths of the game," Bryant said. "I've had some games like that where I don't start off well, but I know if I stay within the game and keep shooting I can get hot at the end."

- Kobe Bryant after the Lakers beat the Spurs on Friday.

Sure, Kobe, if you keep taking shots, I'm sure you'll score 40+ eventually.

I 100% agree with Asorto1's comment to my March 9 post below. It is thanks to the Lakers defense (held Duncan to 12 points) and to the Spurs' poor shooting and rebounding that the Lakers won.

Plus, like in the last game against the Hornets, the rest of the team shot well. Lamar was 6 of 8 and Kwame was 4 of 4. As much as Kwame has underperformed so far, at least he makes smart shots!